Wednesday, October 07, 2009

And Jesus said "Love thy neighbor, unless your neighbor is black, or gay, or a Democrat": Conservapedia works on ConservaBible.

This defies belief. Some right wingers want to produce a new version of the bible which scrubs it of it's "liberal bias".
How will these boneheads re-write these statements (courtesy of Jesus is a Liberal)?:
  • Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. [Matthew 5:9]
  • Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. [Matthew 5:39]
  • I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute you; [Matthew 5:44]
  • If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7]
  • Do not judge, lest you too be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. [Matthew 7:1 & 2.]
  • Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy [Matthew 5:7]
  • But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. [Matthew 6:15]
  • Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. [Luke 12.15.] Truly, I say unto you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. [Matthew 19:23]
  • You cannot serve both God and Money. [Matthew 6:24.]
  • Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's. [Matthew 22:21]
  • Love your neighbor as yourself. .[Matthew 22:39]
  • So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you. [Matthew 7:12.]
  • If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. [Matthew 19:21]
  • But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just. [Luke 14:13&14.]
These morons love the bible, their only problem is with all that "liberal" rubbish which Jesus came out with.


Steel Phoenix said...

They really ought to start with Jesus himself. Lose the long hair and sandals in favor of a Nascar hat and a big belt buckle. Get rid of the wine and crackers in favor of beer and pretzels.

Kel said...

The irony SP is that most Christians would actually hate Jesus. All that "liberal" turn the other cheek nonsense!

They love the Old Testament and seem to be against the message that is supposed to be at the very centre of Christianity.