If Jesus Was a Republican.

Some Christian guy has come up with this list. They're very funny. There are more on his webpage. Click the title to be taken to the page.

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law. I have not come to abolish it, but to erase it piece by piece, until the Law shall be me, and I shall be the Law.

Consider the lilies of the field, then plow them under and drill for oil.

If a man strikes you on the right cheek, you must be a fool. You should have killed him and anyone around him before he got anywhere near you.

If a man asks for your coat, tell him to find a job. If he asks you to go with him a mile, tell him you don't pick up hitchhikers.

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a corporation. Though you see its right hand, you know not what its left hand does.

Do not resist an evil man. For probably he can make a large campaign contribution.

Those who die for a cause shall receive their death. And those who send them to die shall receive everlasting life.

When one white son dies it shall be worth seventy black or brown sons in payment. And so the righteous man gets his due.